As mentioned in a previous post, I’m going to be coaching a Dale Carnegie Effective Communications class. The other night I attended a training session for current and future coaches. The topic that we covered and went in-depth on 
was how to give feedback. An effective way that we learned is based on a three part formula. Being a computer and math guy, I thought it’s pretty easy to fit things into a formula, so I made a game of it.
The Formula
The formula for a response/compliment is as follows:
- Tell the person the a strength they possess
- Show evidence of that strength
- Tell them how that strength will help them in the future
The Challenge
In the last two weeks, I’ve attempted to give at least one compliment a day to a co-worker. It’s not worked everyday, but it has helped me and the team I’m working with quite a bit. People seem to be more confident around me and proud of what they’ve done. I’ve made a stronger connection with a few the people as well.
The Example
Today, for example, I was troubleshooting an issue with a less experienced DBA. He was driving the workstation we were working on and jumping around like he knew the next move. I simply stopped and said, “Wow, you’ve really picked up on the environment around here. You’re two moves ahead of where I’d be and jumping to shortcuts I didn’t know existed. This will really help you in the future to be more efficient.” This was a simple example, but he was all smiles the rest of the day and even showed me a couple of quicker ways to do things.
The Payoff
As computer geeks, we sometimes sacrifice our social skills. Try giving out a few compliments and you’ll be amazed at the response and help you’ll get from others. You may even pick up a few new short cuts like I did.
It’s so true that as computer geeks, we do sometimes sacrifice our social skills.
Injecting a positivity boost to those around you can have a tremendous impact both for the team and yourself.
What a great idea I’m going to take up the challenge!
[...] Appreciation In class tonight, we covered a technique for showing people recognition. I had posted about it before, but we went further into it [...]