SQL Feather and Quill

As mentioned in a previous post, I’m going to be coaching a Dale Carnegie Effective Communications class.  The other night I attended a training session for current and future coaches.  The topic that we covered and went in-depth on was how to give feedback.  An effective way that we learned is based on a three part formula.  Being a computer and math guy, I thought it’s pretty easy to fit things into a formula, so I made a game of it.

The Formula

The formula for a response/compliment is as follows:

1. Tell the person the a strength they possess
2. Show evidence of that strength
3. Tell them how that strength will help them in the future

The Challenge

In the last two weeks, I’ve attempted to give at least one compliment a day to a co-worker.  It’s not worked everyday, but it has helped me and the team I’m working with quite a bit.  People seem to be more confident around me and proud of what they’ve done.  I’ve made a stronger connection with a few the people as well.

The Example

Today, for example, I was troubleshooting an issue with a less experienced DBA.  He was driving the workstation we were working on and jumping around like he knew the next move.  I simply stopped and said, “Wow, you’ve really picked up on the environment around here.  You’re two moves ahead of where I’d be and jumping to shortcuts I didn’t know existed.  This will really help you in the future to be more efficient.”  This was a simple example, but he was all smiles the rest of the day and even showed me a couple of quicker ways to do things.

The Payoff

As computer geeks, we sometimes sacrifice our social skills.  Try giving out a few compliments and you’ll be amazed at the response and help you’ll get from others.  You may even pick up a few new short cuts like I did.